2008 certainly kept the media busy. Between Obama, the war in Iraq, and the recession, there never seemed to be a dull moment. Here is a list of the 10 most significant news stores of 2008 (from the perspective of a United States citizen):
10. Illinois Governor Blagojevch Arrested for Attempting to Sell/Trade Obama's Vacant Senate Seat - The biggest political scandal of the year that initially gave Obama quite a bit of bad PR soon after he was elected. Governor Blagojevch attempted to trade or sell Obama's vacant senate, but wound up arrested on conspiracy charges instead.
9. Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes Die - One great comedian and an excellent musician / actor (South Park) unexpectedly died one day apart. Bernie Mac passed away from complications due to pneumonia while Isaac Hayes died from a recurrance of a previous stroke.
8. Russia Attacks Georgia - The Georgian/Russian conflict that eventually led to a brief war between the two countries.
7. Sarah Palin: First Woman to be Republican Candidate for Vice President - Although she was ridiculed constantly during her campaign run for Vice President, Sarah Palin achieved a big accomplishment in becoming the first female Vice President candidate for the conservative Republican Party.
6. Marriott Hotel Bombing: Islamabad - On September 20th a dump truck filled with explosives detonated in front of a Marriott Hotel in Islamabad, killing at least 54 and injuring at least 266.
5. Somali Pirates hijack Ships - Pirates??? Apparently so. Somali pirates invaded ships in order to steal money. The motive behind the crimes supposedly had to do with illegal fishing and dumping that was taking place in their waters.
4. Hilary Clinton: First Woman to Win a Presidential Primary - She might not have won, but there is no question that Hilary Clinton's race for Presidency has had a huge impact on women everywhere. She became the first woman to win a presidential primary.
3. Mumbai Terror Attack - The Mumbai attacks were a series of ten coordinated terrorist attacks that killed at least 173 people and injured 308 others.
2. United States in Recession - The economic recession that has left (and is still leaving) Americans in a crisis. Stocks are plummeting, unemployment rate is sky high, and numerous businesses are going bankrupt.
1. Barack Obama's Presidential Victory - In one of the most important elections in US history, America chose for the man promising change, Barack Obama. His victory is not only important because of the fact that he's the first African American President (although that is a big reason), but because of the situation that the United States has found themselves in at the time of the election
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Top 10 Most Underrated Television Shows
Certain television shows such as The Simpsons, Lost, and 24 have received the recognition that they deserve. The fact that they are enormously entertaining have made them as popular as they are today. However, there are dozens of television shows that are just as good (some can argue even better), but for one reason or another never receive the fan base of the aforementioned tv shows. Here is a list of the top 10 most underrated television shows (must have aired in 2000 or later to qualify).
1. Supernatural - Anybody who has seen an episode of the brilliant Supernatural can vouch for the number 1 spot that it has received. Any fan of the horror/suspense genre must see this show. Two brothers's mother was murdered in front of their father by something "supernatural". This caused the father to take an interest in the supernatural, raising the boys as warriors to fight the unknown. When the brothers grow up, the father disappears on a routine supernatural hunt. The brothers go on a search for their missing father. This highly addictive show is not only entertaining, scary, and intelligent, but the character development is practically unrivaled amongst other shows that exist.
2. Robot Chicken - The show is starting to receive the recognition that it deserves after the popularity of the Star Wars episode, but I still think it is highly underrated. This 10 minute claymation show has brief clips (lasting anywhere from 2 seconds to 2 minutes) that pretty much mock everything possible. 90% of the time, the jokes work and the briefness of it all is perfect for the ADD generation. Sometimes you won't get the jokes (when it refers to a TV show/movie you haven't seen), but when it's on you'll laugh until it hurts.
3. Dexter - Dexter remains an underrated show because of its placement on Showtime. Had it been aired on HBO, the popularity of this show would grow tremendously. Dexter has one of the most unique plots that currently exists on television. Dexter is an employee of the Miami Metropolitan Police Department's crime lab. When you see him interact with other coworkers, he seems like your every day typical guy. Dexter is far from it however. He is a vigilante. When he is on the crime scene for a brutal murder he decides to extract his own brand of justice by solving the crime himself and killing the murderers. Dexter is original, addictive, and entertaining. You really will never see a show quite like this.
4. Morel Orel - Morel Orel's 3 year run unfortunately just ended on December 18th . Morel Orel is the second best Adult Swim original show behind Robot Chicken. Orel is a well-behaved Christian child who seeks to better himself and his community on a daily basis by following the teachings of the church. The humor aspect of this show lies among Orel's interpretation of each sermon. Example: a teaching stated that you must be loyal to your friends. Orel is introduced to a new "friend" who happens to be a bad kid. He ends up beating up other kids and destroying property because he was simply following the church teachings. The dad is also a great part of this show. Hes an alcoholic who is battling his own inner demons. Very sad to see this show go.
5. Jericho - There's a reason why CBS received a substantial amount of people protesting the cancellation of this show. The show focuses on residents of Jericho, Kansas in the aftermath of nuclear attacks. This is a highly entertaining show that always leaves you wondering "whats going to happen next". Similar in what makes Lost so entertaining, except not as frustrating.
6. Oz - Due to the popularity of the Sopranos and Six Feet Under, Oz was highly overlooked show that was actually just as good as the Sopranos and better than Six Feet Under. Oz takes a look at prison life in the maximum security prison known as Oswald. Oz refers to a unit within Oswald that is known for it's "leniency" compared to the other units. This show doesn't hold back in it's depiction of prison life which provides an authentic feel to the show that is rarely seen. Everything about it feels so real and you actually sympathize with half of the prisoners while hating the other half. It's hard to imagine a show like Oz ever existing again.
7. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - Any fan of improvisational comedy should check out It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Boasting Danny Devito among it's lead actors, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia provides a humorous look at an extremely dysfunctional family.
8. Arrested Development - Here comes the boos. Not because it doesn't deserve to be on the list, but because it's ranked "8" instead of "1" or "2". Arrested Development is often looked at as the funniest show that ever existed on television, or one of them. In my opinion, this show is slightly overrated in that sense, but extremely underrated in terms of how unpopular this show was when it was aired. You need to have a certain sense of humor to appreciate this show. Those who fit the target audience, will no doubt be one of the many who are still pissed off to this day that this show was canceled.
9. MXC - MXC can only be described as stupidally brilliant. This show is an actual Japanese game show that is dubbed in English (although not accurately). MXC highlights the ridiculousness of some Japanese shows in an extremely amusing manner.
10. Everybody Hates Chris - Critics love it, viewers love it...so what's the problem? Not sure, but for one reason or another this show never received the fanbase that it deserved. A very funny show nonetheless.
1. Supernatural - Anybody who has seen an episode of the brilliant Supernatural can vouch for the number 1 spot that it has received. Any fan of the horror/suspense genre must see this show. Two brothers's mother was murdered in front of their father by something "supernatural". This caused the father to take an interest in the supernatural, raising the boys as warriors to fight the unknown. When the brothers grow up, the father disappears on a routine supernatural hunt. The brothers go on a search for their missing father. This highly addictive show is not only entertaining, scary, and intelligent, but the character development is practically unrivaled amongst other shows that exist.
2. Robot Chicken - The show is starting to receive the recognition that it deserves after the popularity of the Star Wars episode, but I still think it is highly underrated. This 10 minute claymation show has brief clips (lasting anywhere from 2 seconds to 2 minutes) that pretty much mock everything possible. 90% of the time, the jokes work and the briefness of it all is perfect for the ADD generation. Sometimes you won't get the jokes (when it refers to a TV show/movie you haven't seen), but when it's on you'll laugh until it hurts.
3. Dexter - Dexter remains an underrated show because of its placement on Showtime. Had it been aired on HBO, the popularity of this show would grow tremendously. Dexter has one of the most unique plots that currently exists on television. Dexter is an employee of the Miami Metropolitan Police Department's crime lab. When you see him interact with other coworkers, he seems like your every day typical guy. Dexter is far from it however. He is a vigilante. When he is on the crime scene for a brutal murder he decides to extract his own brand of justice by solving the crime himself and killing the murderers. Dexter is original, addictive, and entertaining. You really will never see a show quite like this.
4. Morel Orel - Morel Orel's 3 year run unfortunately just ended on December 18th . Morel Orel is the second best Adult Swim original show behind Robot Chicken. Orel is a well-behaved Christian child who seeks to better himself and his community on a daily basis by following the teachings of the church. The humor aspect of this show lies among Orel's interpretation of each sermon. Example: a teaching stated that you must be loyal to your friends. Orel is introduced to a new "friend" who happens to be a bad kid. He ends up beating up other kids and destroying property because he was simply following the church teachings. The dad is also a great part of this show. Hes an alcoholic who is battling his own inner demons. Very sad to see this show go.
5. Jericho - There's a reason why CBS received a substantial amount of people protesting the cancellation of this show. The show focuses on residents of Jericho, Kansas in the aftermath of nuclear attacks. This is a highly entertaining show that always leaves you wondering "whats going to happen next". Similar in what makes Lost so entertaining, except not as frustrating.
6. Oz - Due to the popularity of the Sopranos and Six Feet Under, Oz was highly overlooked show that was actually just as good as the Sopranos and better than Six Feet Under. Oz takes a look at prison life in the maximum security prison known as Oswald. Oz refers to a unit within Oswald that is known for it's "leniency" compared to the other units. This show doesn't hold back in it's depiction of prison life which provides an authentic feel to the show that is rarely seen. Everything about it feels so real and you actually sympathize with half of the prisoners while hating the other half. It's hard to imagine a show like Oz ever existing again.
7. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - Any fan of improvisational comedy should check out It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Boasting Danny Devito among it's lead actors, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia provides a humorous look at an extremely dysfunctional family.
8. Arrested Development - Here comes the boos. Not because it doesn't deserve to be on the list, but because it's ranked "8" instead of "1" or "2". Arrested Development is often looked at as the funniest show that ever existed on television, or one of them. In my opinion, this show is slightly overrated in that sense, but extremely underrated in terms of how unpopular this show was when it was aired. You need to have a certain sense of humor to appreciate this show. Those who fit the target audience, will no doubt be one of the many who are still pissed off to this day that this show was canceled.
9. MXC - MXC can only be described as stupidally brilliant. This show is an actual Japanese game show that is dubbed in English (although not accurately). MXC highlights the ridiculousness of some Japanese shows in an extremely amusing manner.
10. Everybody Hates Chris - Critics love it, viewers love it...so what's the problem? Not sure, but for one reason or another this show never received the fanbase that it deserved. A very funny show nonetheless.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Top 10 New Websites of 2008
Each year millions of new websites are created, but only a few actually succeed. The reason for their success usually is related to a variety of factors including: offering a unique(s) feature that can't be found elsewhere, providing interesting content, and having a good marketing strategy in place. These new websites, the best ones of 2008, have successfully broken through the clutter of other sites by offering unique and interesting content.
1. BreakingNews.com - The BreakingNews.com website does exactly as you would expect it to, provide the most up to date News stories from around the world. Because it provides feeds from various reliable Internet sources, it offers an unbiased approach to the News, which is something seldom seen on the web. BreakingNews.com offers "breaking news alerts" in a variety of categories, including "world", "US", "politics", "entertainment", "sports", "business & tech", "health & science", and "odds & animals". A unique feature about this website is that it allows you to sort your category preference simply by clicking on an up arrow or down arrow. If that's not enough, BreakingNews.com features a "water cooler" section that allows visitors to see which stories people are receiving the most attention.
2. findingDulcinea.com - Technically formed at the end of 2007, findingDulcinea.com was not released from Beta mode until early 2008 (therefore allowing it to qualify for the top 10 list). Boasting a creative tagline of "Librarian of the Internet", fidningDulcinea.com more than lives up to its claim. Whether you're looking for general information (on pretty much anything), a directory of websites, or top new stories, you will be able to find it on this website. My favorite part about findingDulcinea.com is how it encompasses all the best characteristics of the Internet. It is informative, human-generated, as well as additively entertaining. There is a "Web Guide" section which provides an extensive overview on a variety of topics (including links to reliable sources), "Beyond the Headlines" which offers a unique viewpoint of the top stories of the day (as well as links to the outside sources), and "Netcetera" which has offbeat, original content (i.e. notable figures birthdays, essential websites for New Years, etc.).
3. SpliceToday.com - Refreshing, entertaining, informative, and unique are all words that can be used to describe SpliceToday. SpliceToday.com produces unique stories about a variety of topics including sex, sports, politics, music, pop culture, and more. I've been a fan of this website since June and have been addicted ever since. Just read any of the articles on the website and you'll grasp what I'm referring to.
4. Yahoo! Buzz - If you're a social media nerd like myself, you were eagerly waiting for the launch of this website. Being that it is controlled by Yahoo, a high expectation level was set for this website. So far it has been meeting these expectations. While it offers a very similar approach as Digg and Propeller, I've seen a significantly less amount of spam than on Yahoo! Buzz which is a huge reason why it gets my vote. I can only see this website getting better over time.
5. AnswersTV - AnswersTV provides a concept that makes you wonder why no other website has thought of it. To put it simply, AnswersTV is a website that has a bunch of informational videos relating to a variety of topics (Magic, Travel, Health, Food, etc.). Think of these videos as a cross between "how to" videos and if Wikipedia converted it's pages into videos. The content that AnswersTV.com provides is unique, interesting, and most importantly, informative.
6. Who's Your Champion - Check out their "Wall of Champions" and you'll grasp what exactly Who's Your Champion is all about. From the typical (Chuck Norris, Arnold Schwarzenegger) to the wtfs?? (2 men creating a "Let's Put the Fork in the Garbage Disposal" dance, nerdy fat kids awkwardly singing), Who's Your Champion allows you to upload videos of pretty much anyone that makes you go "wow that person is a champ" while voting for other people's videos as well. This is such a refreshingly unique type of social media website that I can see sky rocketing in popularity in the near future.
7. AlcoholAbuse.com - Why does this make the list you might ask? Well, from what I've seen this new website has the most relevant information pertaining to alcohol abuse from symptoms, treatments, and general information. This website even includes an alcoholism test that allows you to assess whether you have a problem or not. This is such a prevalent problem that exists (we all know at least one person who suffers from this) that it makes this website very important, thus ranking on the top 10 list.
8. Smilebooks - The only product that makes the Top 10 list. Smilebooks allows you to create a digital photobook (a pretty kickass looking one if I might add) of pretty much anything that you want. Ranging from weddings, graduations, vacations, baby showers, etc. Smilebooks has a variety of different themes/categories to choose from.
9. JuicyCampus - Go to college? Have something juicy to say about somebody? Or maybe you just want to bash somebody, anonymously. Well you can with JuicyCampus.com. What surprises me the most about this website is that it doesn't require a user name or registration, but yet the spamming is kept under control. If you go to college, it's cool to see what is being said about your campus and the people who go there.
10. MakeupProducts.com - My last girlfriend was a fan of this website, and I can see why. Although this definitely is targeting women more than men, guys can still find it useful when searching for a gift for that special lady. This website includes hundreds of different makeup product reviews, tips and tricks, as well as industry news and overviews of different brands.
1. BreakingNews.com - The BreakingNews.com website does exactly as you would expect it to, provide the most up to date News stories from around the world. Because it provides feeds from various reliable Internet sources, it offers an unbiased approach to the News, which is something seldom seen on the web. BreakingNews.com offers "breaking news alerts" in a variety of categories, including "world", "US", "politics", "entertainment", "sports", "business & tech", "health & science", and "odds & animals". A unique feature about this website is that it allows you to sort your category preference simply by clicking on an up arrow or down arrow. If that's not enough, BreakingNews.com features a "water cooler" section that allows visitors to see which stories people are receiving the most attention.
2. findingDulcinea.com - Technically formed at the end of 2007, findingDulcinea.com was not released from Beta mode until early 2008 (therefore allowing it to qualify for the top 10 list). Boasting a creative tagline of "Librarian of the Internet", fidningDulcinea.com more than lives up to its claim. Whether you're looking for general information (on pretty much anything), a directory of websites, or top new stories, you will be able to find it on this website. My favorite part about findingDulcinea.com is how it encompasses all the best characteristics of the Internet. It is informative, human-generated, as well as additively entertaining. There is a "Web Guide" section which provides an extensive overview on a variety of topics (including links to reliable sources), "Beyond the Headlines" which offers a unique viewpoint of the top stories of the day (as well as links to the outside sources), and "Netcetera" which has offbeat, original content (i.e. notable figures birthdays, essential websites for New Years, etc.).
3. SpliceToday.com - Refreshing, entertaining, informative, and unique are all words that can be used to describe SpliceToday. SpliceToday.com produces unique stories about a variety of topics including sex, sports, politics, music, pop culture, and more. I've been a fan of this website since June and have been addicted ever since. Just read any of the articles on the website and you'll grasp what I'm referring to.
4. Yahoo! Buzz - If you're a social media nerd like myself, you were eagerly waiting for the launch of this website. Being that it is controlled by Yahoo, a high expectation level was set for this website. So far it has been meeting these expectations. While it offers a very similar approach as Digg and Propeller, I've seen a significantly less amount of spam than on Yahoo! Buzz which is a huge reason why it gets my vote. I can only see this website getting better over time.
5. AnswersTV - AnswersTV provides a concept that makes you wonder why no other website has thought of it. To put it simply, AnswersTV is a website that has a bunch of informational videos relating to a variety of topics (Magic, Travel, Health, Food, etc.). Think of these videos as a cross between "how to" videos and if Wikipedia converted it's pages into videos. The content that AnswersTV.com provides is unique, interesting, and most importantly, informative.
6. Who's Your Champion - Check out their "Wall of Champions" and you'll grasp what exactly Who's Your Champion is all about. From the typical (Chuck Norris, Arnold Schwarzenegger) to the wtfs?? (2 men creating a "Let's Put the Fork in the Garbage Disposal" dance, nerdy fat kids awkwardly singing), Who's Your Champion allows you to upload videos of pretty much anyone that makes you go "wow that person is a champ" while voting for other people's videos as well. This is such a refreshingly unique type of social media website that I can see sky rocketing in popularity in the near future.
7. AlcoholAbuse.com - Why does this make the list you might ask? Well, from what I've seen this new website has the most relevant information pertaining to alcohol abuse from symptoms, treatments, and general information. This website even includes an alcoholism test that allows you to assess whether you have a problem or not. This is such a prevalent problem that exists (we all know at least one person who suffers from this) that it makes this website very important, thus ranking on the top 10 list.
8. Smilebooks - The only product that makes the Top 10 list. Smilebooks allows you to create a digital photobook (a pretty kickass looking one if I might add) of pretty much anything that you want. Ranging from weddings, graduations, vacations, baby showers, etc. Smilebooks has a variety of different themes/categories to choose from.
9. JuicyCampus - Go to college? Have something juicy to say about somebody? Or maybe you just want to bash somebody, anonymously. Well you can with JuicyCampus.com. What surprises me the most about this website is that it doesn't require a user name or registration, but yet the spamming is kept under control. If you go to college, it's cool to see what is being said about your campus and the people who go there.
10. MakeupProducts.com - My last girlfriend was a fan of this website, and I can see why. Although this definitely is targeting women more than men, guys can still find it useful when searching for a gift for that special lady. This website includes hundreds of different makeup product reviews, tips and tricks, as well as industry news and overviews of different brands.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
The 10 Most Hilariously Offensive South Park Moments
South Park, one of the funniest shows in the history of television, is known to push the envelope no matter what topic they are discussing. You can't sit through an episode for more than five minutes without witnessing something that is hilariously offensive. Every once in a while, there will be a moment that is so "over the top" that it will shock even the most hardcore South Park fan (in a good way). Below are the ten most hilariously offensive South Park moments.
10. Tom Cruise - Trapped in the Closet: A favorite by many, this episode hilariously makes fun of Scientology, Tom Cruise's gayness, and R. Kelly's violent nature. Instead of just selecting one scene from this episode, I'm going to include the entire episode.
9. Cripple Fight: Move over Timmy, there is a new cripple in town and he can do a lot more than just say his name. Timmy becomes enraged with jealousy because everybody thinks Jimmy is a much cooler handicapped person than Timmy. Eventually Timmy has enough and they both throw down in a parking lot for a good 5 minutes while a crowd of hundreds of bystanders watch.
8. Cartman Gives Kyle AIDS: Cartman gets AIDS due to a botched blood transfusion from a tonsillectomy (don't worry, the doctor gives him free ice cream for it). Kyle finds this very funny (in an ironic way) and frequently laughs about this. Cartman has had enough, so he ends up injecting Kyle with his AIDS. Kyle tells the principal about this, only to be told "not to be a tattle tale".
7. Cartman has Tourette's: Cartman fakes having tourette's syndrome so he can whatever he wants. Need I say more? Cartman uses this to his full advantage by saying all the most offensive things he can think of.
6. Butter Gets a Surprise in his Mouth: Cartman keeps inviting Butters over for a sleepover. Not because he likes him, but because he keeps taking pictures of Butters is in very awkward positions (one has Butters with a tampon in his mouth). Cartman takes a picture of Butters' penis in is mouth. When the boys tell Cartman that doing this makes Cartman the gay one, he freaks out and (because of Kyle's suggestion) invites Butters over to "reverse the gay polarity" by sticking his penis in Butters' mouth. He tells Butters he has a surprise, blind folds him, and just before anything happens Butters Dad walks in and witnesses everything. Because of this, Butters gets shipped off to a Christian retreat to turn him straight because (according to his father) he is "bi-curious".
5. Kyle's Cousin Kyle's Jewishness: This isn't so much as offensive as it is hilarious. Kyle's cousin Kyle was the best non-main character on South Park (I wish he was used more often than just two episodes). He takes pretty much every Jewish stereotype imaginable and brings it to the forefront. This ranges from his voice, his lack of athleticism, his dream to become an investment banker, his constant complaining, and his frugality.
4. The Death of Strawberry Shortcake: All of the Imaginationland episodes were easily the weirdest in the South Park catalog. One scene that stands out for its offensiveness and hilarity is the death of Strawberry Shortcake. The evil imaginary characters have her tied up and pluck out one of her eyes. The woodland critters don't think this is evil enough so they decide that her dying by having somebody pee in her with AIDS would do the trick. Later on in the episode Stan mentions that all he sees is Strawberry Shortcake dead with pee in her eye.
3. Eric Cartman Gets Sexually Excited Over Butters Getting Beaten by his Parents: Butters is grounded (as usual), but he needs to leave his house for a scheme that the boys have came up with to make money. Cartman tells Butters he will stay home and pretend to be him when his Dad calls in to check on him. Cartman takes advantage of this opportunity and when Butters' Dad calls in, he is overly offensive towards him and ends up calling him a pussy. He follows this trend when the Mother calls in as well. Butter gets back in time, Cartman leaves and sets up a lawn chair in front of the house, and when Butters parents arive home Butter happily exclaims "Hi Mom and Dad!". Butter's Dad responds with a "Don't you hi Dad me!" and proceeds to beat him. Cartman enjoys this tremendously and mentions his sexual excitement over this.
2. Scott Tenorman Eats his Parents: This was easily the most evil thing Eric Cartman has ever done. In my opinion, this was the best overall episode of South Park. Cartman hates Scott Tenorman because of all the tricks he plays on Cartman. Cartman tries to seek revenge multiple times with very little success. How does he finally do the trick? He gets Scott's parents killed by luring them into a crazy farmer's property (where he shoots them for trespassing). Cartman takes the bodies, chops them up, and puts them into a chili. He then hosts a Chili Con Carnival where he ends up feeding Scott the chili and makes him eat his parents. Scott starts to cry, Radiohead (his favorite band) comes to the carnival, sees him cry and calls him a cry baby repeatedly. Cartman takes pleasure in this and starts drinking his tears. Messed up, but very funny.
1. Randy Marsh's Wrong Answer on Wheel of Fortune: This was the most brilliant opening scene in South Park history. The producers were smart in not giving away any part of this episode in the previews. Randy Marsh is in the final round of Wheel of Fortune. The category is "people who annoy you". It is seven letters long and after receiving the letters "r", "s", "t", "l", and "e", it is spelt out _ _ _ _ E R S. Randy guesses B, G, N, and an "O" to reveal N _ G G E R S. The audience looks on with blank faces as the black cameraman has an angry look on his face. Randy becomes nervous and starts to say how he knows the answer, but shouldn't say it. Eventually, with time running out, he exclaims eagerly in anticipation of winning a lot of money "NIGGERS!". Time runs out, Vanna (looking very ashamed) walks over to the puzzle to reveal that the answer was actually naggers. Extremely funny and genius opening scene to a great South Park episode.
10. Tom Cruise - Trapped in the Closet: A favorite by many, this episode hilariously makes fun of Scientology, Tom Cruise's gayness, and R. Kelly's violent nature. Instead of just selecting one scene from this episode, I'm going to include the entire episode.
9. Cripple Fight: Move over Timmy, there is a new cripple in town and he can do a lot more than just say his name. Timmy becomes enraged with jealousy because everybody thinks Jimmy is a much cooler handicapped person than Timmy. Eventually Timmy has enough and they both throw down in a parking lot for a good 5 minutes while a crowd of hundreds of bystanders watch.
8. Cartman Gives Kyle AIDS: Cartman gets AIDS due to a botched blood transfusion from a tonsillectomy (don't worry, the doctor gives him free ice cream for it). Kyle finds this very funny (in an ironic way) and frequently laughs about this. Cartman has had enough, so he ends up injecting Kyle with his AIDS. Kyle tells the principal about this, only to be told "not to be a tattle tale".
7. Cartman has Tourette's: Cartman fakes having tourette's syndrome so he can whatever he wants. Need I say more? Cartman uses this to his full advantage by saying all the most offensive things he can think of.
6. Butter Gets a Surprise in his Mouth: Cartman keeps inviting Butters over for a sleepover. Not because he likes him, but because he keeps taking pictures of Butters is in very awkward positions (one has Butters with a tampon in his mouth). Cartman takes a picture of Butters' penis in is mouth. When the boys tell Cartman that doing this makes Cartman the gay one, he freaks out and (because of Kyle's suggestion) invites Butters over to "reverse the gay polarity" by sticking his penis in Butters' mouth. He tells Butters he has a surprise, blind folds him, and just before anything happens Butters Dad walks in and witnesses everything. Because of this, Butters gets shipped off to a Christian retreat to turn him straight because (according to his father) he is "bi-curious".
5. Kyle's Cousin Kyle's Jewishness: This isn't so much as offensive as it is hilarious. Kyle's cousin Kyle was the best non-main character on South Park (I wish he was used more often than just two episodes). He takes pretty much every Jewish stereotype imaginable and brings it to the forefront. This ranges from his voice, his lack of athleticism, his dream to become an investment banker, his constant complaining, and his frugality.
4. The Death of Strawberry Shortcake: All of the Imaginationland episodes were easily the weirdest in the South Park catalog. One scene that stands out for its offensiveness and hilarity is the death of Strawberry Shortcake. The evil imaginary characters have her tied up and pluck out one of her eyes. The woodland critters don't think this is evil enough so they decide that her dying by having somebody pee in her with AIDS would do the trick. Later on in the episode Stan mentions that all he sees is Strawberry Shortcake dead with pee in her eye.
3. Eric Cartman Gets Sexually Excited Over Butters Getting Beaten by his Parents: Butters is grounded (as usual), but he needs to leave his house for a scheme that the boys have came up with to make money. Cartman tells Butters he will stay home and pretend to be him when his Dad calls in to check on him. Cartman takes advantage of this opportunity and when Butters' Dad calls in, he is overly offensive towards him and ends up calling him a pussy. He follows this trend when the Mother calls in as well. Butter gets back in time, Cartman leaves and sets up a lawn chair in front of the house, and when Butters parents arive home Butter happily exclaims "Hi Mom and Dad!". Butter's Dad responds with a "Don't you hi Dad me!" and proceeds to beat him. Cartman enjoys this tremendously and mentions his sexual excitement over this.
2. Scott Tenorman Eats his Parents: This was easily the most evil thing Eric Cartman has ever done. In my opinion, this was the best overall episode of South Park. Cartman hates Scott Tenorman because of all the tricks he plays on Cartman. Cartman tries to seek revenge multiple times with very little success. How does he finally do the trick? He gets Scott's parents killed by luring them into a crazy farmer's property (where he shoots them for trespassing). Cartman takes the bodies, chops them up, and puts them into a chili. He then hosts a Chili Con Carnival where he ends up feeding Scott the chili and makes him eat his parents. Scott starts to cry, Radiohead (his favorite band) comes to the carnival, sees him cry and calls him a cry baby repeatedly. Cartman takes pleasure in this and starts drinking his tears. Messed up, but very funny.
1. Randy Marsh's Wrong Answer on Wheel of Fortune: This was the most brilliant opening scene in South Park history. The producers were smart in not giving away any part of this episode in the previews. Randy Marsh is in the final round of Wheel of Fortune. The category is "people who annoy you". It is seven letters long and after receiving the letters "r", "s", "t", "l", and "e", it is spelt out _ _ _ _ E R S. Randy guesses B, G, N, and an "O" to reveal N _ G G E R S. The audience looks on with blank faces as the black cameraman has an angry look on his face. Randy becomes nervous and starts to say how he knows the answer, but shouldn't say it. Eventually, with time running out, he exclaims eagerly in anticipation of winning a lot of money "NIGGERS!". Time runs out, Vanna (looking very ashamed) walks over to the puzzle to reveal that the answer was actually naggers. Extremely funny and genius opening scene to a great South Park episode.
Monday, November 24, 2008
10 Most Unique Gift Ideas
Last year for the holidays, I bought a bunch of gifts my family. I don't think they were too fond of them. Videos games were sold, dvds were scratched up,earrings were lost, mp3 players that broke, etc. This holiday season I decided I want to get everyone different, unique gifts that people will never forget and cherish forever. The following list is compiled of the 10 most unique gifts I found and will purchase this year.
10. Buy a Star - Who wouldn't want a star? You can see it most nights, you can't break it or loose it and seems to be popular among girlfriends everywhere.
9. Design Your Own Lego Model - This is perfect for the kids, Lego lovers, and...me.... The LEGO Factory lets you design, share and buy your very own custom LEGO models. Design your own, town, car, animal, robot, plane, etc, get the parts in the mail, and build it.
7. Houdini's Tooth - AnswersTV sells awesome magic tricks. This is an example of a really cool magic trick that you can purchase for really cheap. May not be for everyone, but it's great for children and magic enthusiasts (seriously..you'll be surprised by how much kids will like this).
6. Custom Puppets - The thinking behind this is from the Muppet Show from when the Muppets would give the guest celebrity a "Muppet Likeness" of the themselves. Children and adults should get a kick out of a puppet version of themselves.
5. Fake Fire Places - I actually purchased this as an inside joke for one of my friends who always complained about not having a fireplace. It is a random gift, but a good one (if you give it to the right person).
4. Angel Chocolate Ornaments - Practical and scrumptious. They look really nice and after you use them you can eat them. This is the kind of gift you obviously might not get for a significant other or family member, but it is a perfect gift for a secret santa.
3. The Gustbuster - Its a walking stick, an umbrella and a chair. Might be one of the most unique and interesting combinations I've seen in recent memory. Probably the epitome of the word "pimp".
2. Custom Bobbleheads -Have you ever wanted a custom bobblehead of yourself? If you said no then you are . This is such a unique and great gift idea for a friend or family member. Imagine their reaction when they receive a bobblehead doll of themself.1. Digital Photobook- This is a great gift for a significant other or family member as it is one of those "come from the heart" presents. Photobooks are better then photo albums because they look professional and are fully customizable. SmileBooks.com is a great place to purchase a digital photo book (I believe they have a sale for this on Black Friday). This is perfect for a grandparent (you really can't get a grandmother or grandfather a better gift), parent, or a significant other.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Top 10 Thanksgiving Websites
If you're like me, you like to wait until the last minute to do everything. Thanksgiving is no exception to the rule. I'm hosting my first Thanksgiving this year and have yet to buy anything or even think about what I'm going to make. What to do? Thank God for the power of the Internet. Ten years ago I would have been screwed, but now by typing things like "Thanksgiving resources" into Google I might have saved myself. I figured I'd share the top 10 Thanksgiving websites I've found.
10. Delish - Thanksgiving Dinner - A very useful Thanksgiving resource website that has a variety of tips ranging from recipes, saving money, party planning, and more.
9. Keeping the Kids Occupied on Thanksgiving - Nothing can be more of a buzzkill for enjoying a delicious Thanksgiving meal then hearing children bitch and moan about "being bored", "hating the food", or "wanting to go home". If you have children attending your house this Thanksgiving, give this website a look. It offers advice on how to keep them entertained during the holiday.
8. Preparing a Turkey - Turkey Preparation Advice - Turkey is typically the most important part of any Thanksgiving meal, unless you're a vegetarian, which in that case you should click here. This useful website includes advice on preparing your turkey (no matter what size bird you purchase) ranging from thawing, preparation, washing, and more.
7. Thanksgiving Games - Some families endure hours of awkward silence after the big meal. If this is the case with your family, instead of just kicking them out why don't you try some of these Thanksgiving-based games. Even if this is too corny for your taste, it will help pass the time and avoid any lulls in the night.
6. Thanksgiving Recipes @ iChef - Literally hundreds and hundreds of Thanksgiving-related recipes ranging from the normal to the very unique. With this amount of information you might think that this should be ranked higher. Although this is a very useful and informative website, there are so many recipes (that are only organized alphabetically by recipe name, not category) that it might be confusing to find exactly what you're looking for. Nevertheless, this website offers a lot of cool ideas to make for an unforgettable Thanksgiving.
5. Thanksgiving Football Schedule - If you're a guy, like me, you should already know this information, but incase you don't here's a list of this Thanksgiving's NFL and college football schedule. Yes I understand that ladies like football too which makes it even more important to have this piece of information handy. You don't want to be "that guy".
4. AllRecipes - Thanksgiving - Might be the best website for finding recipes relating to Thanksgiving. Pretty much every type of Thanksgiving-related food possible is represented on this informative website.
3. Good Housekeeping - Best of the Best Thanksgiving Advice - This useful website has a list of Thanksgiving-related advice to help you prepare for the holiday. These range from finding Thanksgiving recipes, to cleaning, table setting ideas, music, and even carving a turkey. Pretty much all the essentials are represented on this website.
2. AnswersTV - Thanksgiving Channel - Wow. That's all I can say about the Thanksgiving Channel on AnswersTV. It is comparable to if the Food Network had a day long marathon dedicated to Thanksgiving (which they might..what do I know I don't watch the Food Network). There are numerous free videos on entrees, sides, desserts, and even cocktails. These videos range from carving a turkey properly, to creating cranberry sauce, to making a spiced cider.
1. findingDulcinea - 6 Essential Thanksgiving Sites - The reason that this ranks at number 1 is because it includes the essential information that I need. This website includes information on how to cook a holiday meal the whole family can enjoy, creating the appropriate atmosphere, and even how to put an end to bickering (which always happens every holiday due to a certain cousin feeling the need to talk about her eccentric views on life). There is also some cool information on the history of Thanksgiving and advice on viewing the Macy's Day Parade.
10. Delish - Thanksgiving Dinner - A very useful Thanksgiving resource website that has a variety of tips ranging from recipes, saving money, party planning, and more.
9. Keeping the Kids Occupied on Thanksgiving - Nothing can be more of a buzzkill for enjoying a delicious Thanksgiving meal then hearing children bitch and moan about "being bored", "hating the food", or "wanting to go home". If you have children attending your house this Thanksgiving, give this website a look. It offers advice on how to keep them entertained during the holiday.
8. Preparing a Turkey - Turkey Preparation Advice - Turkey is typically the most important part of any Thanksgiving meal, unless you're a vegetarian, which in that case you should click here. This useful website includes advice on preparing your turkey (no matter what size bird you purchase) ranging from thawing, preparation, washing, and more.
7. Thanksgiving Games - Some families endure hours of awkward silence after the big meal. If this is the case with your family, instead of just kicking them out why don't you try some of these Thanksgiving-based games. Even if this is too corny for your taste, it will help pass the time and avoid any lulls in the night.
6. Thanksgiving Recipes @ iChef - Literally hundreds and hundreds of Thanksgiving-related recipes ranging from the normal to the very unique. With this amount of information you might think that this should be ranked higher. Although this is a very useful and informative website, there are so many recipes (that are only organized alphabetically by recipe name, not category) that it might be confusing to find exactly what you're looking for. Nevertheless, this website offers a lot of cool ideas to make for an unforgettable Thanksgiving.
5. Thanksgiving Football Schedule - If you're a guy, like me, you should already know this information, but incase you don't here's a list of this Thanksgiving's NFL and college football schedule. Yes I understand that ladies like football too which makes it even more important to have this piece of information handy. You don't want to be "that guy".
4. AllRecipes - Thanksgiving - Might be the best website for finding recipes relating to Thanksgiving. Pretty much every type of Thanksgiving-related food possible is represented on this informative website.
3. Good Housekeeping - Best of the Best Thanksgiving Advice - This useful website has a list of Thanksgiving-related advice to help you prepare for the holiday. These range from finding Thanksgiving recipes, to cleaning, table setting ideas, music, and even carving a turkey. Pretty much all the essentials are represented on this website.
2. AnswersTV - Thanksgiving Channel - Wow. That's all I can say about the Thanksgiving Channel on AnswersTV. It is comparable to if the Food Network had a day long marathon dedicated to Thanksgiving (which they might..what do I know I don't watch the Food Network). There are numerous free videos on entrees, sides, desserts, and even cocktails. These videos range from carving a turkey properly, to creating cranberry sauce, to making a spiced cider.
1. findingDulcinea - 6 Essential Thanksgiving Sites - The reason that this ranks at number 1 is because it includes the essential information that I need. This website includes information on how to cook a holiday meal the whole family can enjoy, creating the appropriate atmosphere, and even how to put an end to bickering (which always happens every holiday due to a certain cousin feeling the need to talk about her eccentric views on life). There is also some cool information on the history of Thanksgiving and advice on viewing the Macy's Day Parade.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Top 10 Thanksgiving Eve Hot Spots
Thanksgiving Eve..arguably the most popular party night of the year (only 2nd to New Years Eve) in the United States. Not picking the right spot to enjoy your Thanksgiving eve can result in you paying too much for a "decent at best" type of night. Here is a list of the top 10 places to party this Thanksgiving Eve (these spots are spread out across the United States in order to cater to as many people as possible):
10. The Ritz - Detroit - For those not interested in the "club vibe" that most Thanksgiving Eve places bring, check out the Ritz. 90s rock band "Sponge" will be headlining. Local rock acts such as Frequency 54, Fall From Grace, and more will be opening for the rock act. $12-$15 to get in.
9. Atkins Park - Atlanta - Budweiser is sponsoring one of Atlanta's best bars this Thanksgiving Eve, guaranteeing a good time. There will be a DJ and giveaways as well. Good music, good crowd, great price.
8. Mad River Bar - Baltimore - One of the best values you can get for this Thanksgiving Eve. $5 cover with $1 Coors Light along with a good crowd and a great time from one of Baltimore's best bars.
7. The Kennedy - Tampa Bay - For $10 or $15 (depending on your gender) you can "get roasted" this year at the Kennedy in Tampa Bay. The ticket includes a complimentary drink (if you're getting a table it won't mean much considering they cost $500). There will be Ketel One Specials all night and music will be provided by DJ Gemini.
6. Pipeline Cafe - Honolulu - Let's not forget about our friends over in Hawaii. If you live there or are vacationing there be sure to check out Pipeline Cafe this Thanksgiving eve. The event, called "The Beach 5 - Beach Party Bash" will feature performances from Hawaii's top live acts. Cost is $15.
5. Plan B - Chicago - If you are in the Chicago area, Plan B is likely the best choice for your Thanksgiving Eve. Plan B guarantees to provide a GREAT time without you having to spend a lot of money. This popular bar is offering half price appetizers, drink specials that include: Jameson shots, SoCo and Lime shots, and martinis all for $3. Domestic canned beer is also available for $2. One of the best parts of the night will most likely be the music. Local DJ Daddy will be spinning 80s classics, old school hip hop, and vintage rock.
4. Rumor - Boston - Although a little pricey ($40 in advance, $50 at the door), Rumor promises to be a good time with house greats Deep Dish and DJ Sharam sharing the stage. The drinks are strong, but good and the crowd is a LOT of fun. See for yourself why Rumor is one of the best clubs in Boston.
3. Social Hollywood - Los Angeles - For $30, you can experience one of Los Angeles' hottest night clubs. "Deal or No Deal" case girl Leyla Milani will be hosting the event while DJ Splyce will be manning the decks for the VIP room. There will also be an open tequila and vodka bar between 9:00PM and 10:00PM
2. Nest - New York City - This Thanksgiving Eve, Nest allows you to party with 3 reality stars (from "Flava of Love" and "Rock of Love"). Nest, one of the top clubs in New York city, offers four floors with 15 DJs spinning all night. Cover is $15.
1. Palms - Las Vegas (Ghostbar) - For only $20, you can experience one of the best bars Las Vegas has to offer this Thanksgiving Eve. Located on the 55th floor of the Palms Casino Resort, Ghostbar not only offers the best view of Las Vegas, but possibly offers the best view out of any bar in the country. People don't just go for the view though. Ghostbar has moderately priced drinks, a good crowd (which is becoming increasingly hard to find at a bar these days), and a great atmosphere. This year the night will feature Soundbar along with Alix Alvarez and Mr. V. If you are in the area, you won't regret picking Ghostbar to spend your Thanksgiving Eve.
10. The Ritz - Detroit - For those not interested in the "club vibe" that most Thanksgiving Eve places bring, check out the Ritz. 90s rock band "Sponge" will be headlining. Local rock acts such as Frequency 54, Fall From Grace, and more will be opening for the rock act. $12-$15 to get in.
9. Atkins Park - Atlanta - Budweiser is sponsoring one of Atlanta's best bars this Thanksgiving Eve, guaranteeing a good time. There will be a DJ and giveaways as well. Good music, good crowd, great price.
8. Mad River Bar - Baltimore - One of the best values you can get for this Thanksgiving Eve. $5 cover with $1 Coors Light along with a good crowd and a great time from one of Baltimore's best bars.
7. The Kennedy - Tampa Bay - For $10 or $15 (depending on your gender) you can "get roasted" this year at the Kennedy in Tampa Bay. The ticket includes a complimentary drink (if you're getting a table it won't mean much considering they cost $500). There will be Ketel One Specials all night and music will be provided by DJ Gemini.
6. Pipeline Cafe - Honolulu - Let's not forget about our friends over in Hawaii. If you live there or are vacationing there be sure to check out Pipeline Cafe this Thanksgiving eve. The event, called "The Beach 5 - Beach Party Bash" will feature performances from Hawaii's top live acts. Cost is $15.
5. Plan B - Chicago - If you are in the Chicago area, Plan B is likely the best choice for your Thanksgiving Eve. Plan B guarantees to provide a GREAT time without you having to spend a lot of money. This popular bar is offering half price appetizers, drink specials that include: Jameson shots, SoCo and Lime shots, and martinis all for $3. Domestic canned beer is also available for $2. One of the best parts of the night will most likely be the music. Local DJ Daddy will be spinning 80s classics, old school hip hop, and vintage rock.
4. Rumor - Boston - Although a little pricey ($40 in advance, $50 at the door), Rumor promises to be a good time with house greats Deep Dish and DJ Sharam sharing the stage. The drinks are strong, but good and the crowd is a LOT of fun. See for yourself why Rumor is one of the best clubs in Boston.
3. Social Hollywood - Los Angeles - For $30, you can experience one of Los Angeles' hottest night clubs. "Deal or No Deal" case girl Leyla Milani will be hosting the event while DJ Splyce will be manning the decks for the VIP room. There will also be an open tequila and vodka bar between 9:00PM and 10:00PM
2. Nest - New York City - This Thanksgiving Eve, Nest allows you to party with 3 reality stars (from "Flava of Love" and "Rock of Love"). Nest, one of the top clubs in New York city, offers four floors with 15 DJs spinning all night. Cover is $15.
1. Palms - Las Vegas (Ghostbar) - For only $20, you can experience one of the best bars Las Vegas has to offer this Thanksgiving Eve. Located on the 55th floor of the Palms Casino Resort, Ghostbar not only offers the best view of Las Vegas, but possibly offers the best view out of any bar in the country. People don't just go for the view though. Ghostbar has moderately priced drinks, a good crowd (which is becoming increasingly hard to find at a bar these days), and a great atmosphere. This year the night will feature Soundbar along with Alix Alvarez and Mr. V. If you are in the area, you won't regret picking Ghostbar to spend your Thanksgiving Eve.
Monday, November 10, 2008
10 Dumbest Bush Quotes
With Obama being elected as the new President of the United States, we can only "enjoy" a couple more months of Bushisms (dumb Bush quotes). Whether you are a Bush fan or not, it is hard to argue that some of things he has said during his 8 years of being President aren't the smartest things ever. Listed below are the 10 dumbest Bush quotes of all time (links to video footage for top 4 included).
10. "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."
9. "I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah."
8. "I'm the master of low expectations."
7. "I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right."
6. "People say, how can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil? You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you."
5. "I try to go for long runs, but it's tough around here at the White House on the outdoor track. It's sad that I can't run longer. It's one of the saddest things about the presidency."
4. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country." Link to Video
3. "If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." Link to Video
2. "Our enemies are innovative and resource, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." Link to Video
1. "There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again." Link to Video
10. "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."
9. "I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah."
8. "I'm the master of low expectations."
7. "I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right."
6. "People say, how can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil? You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you."
5. "I try to go for long runs, but it's tough around here at the White House on the outdoor track. It's sad that I can't run longer. It's one of the saddest things about the presidency."
4. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country." Link to Video
3. "If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." Link to Video
2. "Our enemies are innovative and resource, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." Link to Video
1. "There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again." Link to Video
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Top 10 Videos - October
October produced some funny, entertaining videos. Here is a list of the top 10 videos for the month of October.
10. Fork in the Garbage Disposal - Two men dressed in drag singing "Lets to do the fork in the garbage disposal" then go "ding ding ding ding ding duh ding" and spin around while a bunch of fans cheer on. Seriously. This is a 13 second clip, but apparently a longer version of this exists. While very funny, I feel 13 seconds of this is more than enough.
9. Worst Best Man Ever - Short, but funny clip of a best man tripping and knocking the bride and priest into a pool.
8. When the Oranges Grow by MONO MONO - One of the weirdest music videos in recent memory ended up gaining a LOT of exposure on MySpace.
7. If All Movies Had Cell Phones - This video takes a humorous look at how a bunch of movies would be over in a minute if the main characters had cell phones. Very funny and very smart idea.
6. Sarah Silverman in the Great Schlep - Sarah Silverman users humor to get people to vote for Obama. Effective and also very funny.
5. Stocked Fridge - A guy makes a video on how to get chicks using his refrigerator.
4. Head Over Heels: Literal Video Version - One of many in a series where they take a music video and actually sing about what is going on. This is the most popular of the bunch. Very funny.
3. Fred Wants to be a Star - Can't tell you why, but the Fred Figglehorn series on YouTube has gathered a lot of attention. This particular clip is Fred's attempt at becoming a movie star.
2. 5 More Friends - This YouTube video packs in over 20 celebrities all sarcastically asking everyone not to vote. While there is some humor to this, the reason why it ranks so high is because of the powerful message it conveys on going out and voting this election.
1. Election Parody 2008 - The most popular of the 2008 election parodies, this funny video is this year's version of the Bush and Kerry JibJab video. This video is entertaining and funny while being unbiased.
10. Fork in the Garbage Disposal - Two men dressed in drag singing "Lets to do the fork in the garbage disposal" then go "ding ding ding ding ding duh ding" and spin around while a bunch of fans cheer on. Seriously. This is a 13 second clip, but apparently a longer version of this exists. While very funny, I feel 13 seconds of this is more than enough.
9. Worst Best Man Ever - Short, but funny clip of a best man tripping and knocking the bride and priest into a pool.
8. When the Oranges Grow by MONO MONO - One of the weirdest music videos in recent memory ended up gaining a LOT of exposure on MySpace.
7. If All Movies Had Cell Phones - This video takes a humorous look at how a bunch of movies would be over in a minute if the main characters had cell phones. Very funny and very smart idea.
6. Sarah Silverman in the Great Schlep - Sarah Silverman users humor to get people to vote for Obama. Effective and also very funny.
5. Stocked Fridge - A guy makes a video on how to get chicks using his refrigerator.
4. Head Over Heels: Literal Video Version - One of many in a series where they take a music video and actually sing about what is going on. This is the most popular of the bunch. Very funny.
3. Fred Wants to be a Star - Can't tell you why, but the Fred Figglehorn series on YouTube has gathered a lot of attention. This particular clip is Fred's attempt at becoming a movie star.
2. 5 More Friends - This YouTube video packs in over 20 celebrities all sarcastically asking everyone not to vote. While there is some humor to this, the reason why it ranks so high is because of the powerful message it conveys on going out and voting this election.
1. Election Parody 2008 - The most popular of the 2008 election parodies, this funny video is this year's version of the Bush and Kerry JibJab video. This video is entertaining and funny while being unbiased.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
The Best Halloween Resources
From the best costumes to the scariest movies there are a number of Halloween websites that I think have really "carved out" a name for themselves. I did a general search for Halloween resources and the number of results I got was positively scary! Have I got a treat for you! I've left no tombstone unturned to find the top websites dedicated to Halloween (and not just to selling ad space to other companies!). Happy haunting!
Halloween 101 - Looking for haunted happenings, kooky costumes, spooky sounds? This site has it all, with easy to navigate sitemaps that help you find exactly what you're looking for and links to lots of things you're not!
Family Management - This is a family-friendly site with great Halloween activities, Halloween history, safety tips and just about everything else you need to have a treat-filled Halloween. Brain cookies anyone?
Green Halloween – Think green this Halloween. Check out this site for earth-friendly Halloween tips. You'll find energy conservation ideas (use your broomstick instead of your car!), ways to "think outside the candy-box" and so much more.
findingDulcinea Halloween Web Guides - A site for those spooked by searching – findingdulcinea does the searching for you. Real people dig through web clutter to bring you the best picks on everything from scary Halloween movies to finding the perfect costume.
Halloween.com - Halloween fans unite - find forums and live chats along with links to spirited sites for ghoulish greetings, tricks, treats, screensavers, jokes, last minute ideas…
Halloween Sites - It's spooky but true….learning and Halloween DO mix. This site is filled with fun stuff for teachers and kids alike.
Halloween 101 - Looking for haunted happenings, kooky costumes, spooky sounds? This site has it all, with easy to navigate sitemaps that help you find exactly what you're looking for and links to lots of things you're not!
Family Management - This is a family-friendly site with great Halloween activities, Halloween history, safety tips and just about everything else you need to have a treat-filled Halloween. Brain cookies anyone?
Green Halloween – Think green this Halloween. Check out this site for earth-friendly Halloween tips. You'll find energy conservation ideas (use your broomstick instead of your car!), ways to "think outside the candy-box" and so much more.
findingDulcinea Halloween Web Guides - A site for those spooked by searching – findingdulcinea does the searching for you. Real people dig through web clutter to bring you the best picks on everything from scary Halloween movies to finding the perfect costume.
Halloween.com - Halloween fans unite - find forums and live chats along with links to spirited sites for ghoulish greetings, tricks, treats, screensavers, jokes, last minute ideas…
Halloween Sites - It's spooky but true….learning and Halloween DO mix. This site is filled with fun stuff for teachers and kids alike.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Top 5 Election Parodies
The 2008 Presidential is one of the most popularized elections in American history. It is impossible to surf the Internet without stumbling upon thousands of articles or videos relating to this year's election. The popularity of this year's Presidential election has also yielded some of the greatest video parodies. Listed below is the top 5 video parodies of this year's Presidential election.
5. John.He.Is - This is the only non-humor based video that made the list. This parody has a strong, and disturbing, message on John McCain's viewpoint of the war.
4. John McCain Calls His Wife a C* nt - May not really qualify as a parody, but it still makes the list. This video pokes fun of an alleged rumor that John McCain calls his wife the c-bomb in a fit of rage. Very funny stuff.
3. Sarah Benincasa's Impression of Sarah Palin - She's no Tina Fey, but she's pretty damn close. This "video diary of Sarah Palin" pokes fun of the easy target that is Sarah Palin. Sarah Benincasa can go ramble on a little too much, but some of the jokes are flat out hilarious.
2. The 2008 Election Parody - This parody wasn't one of the more publicized parody videos, but is still great nonetheless. This humorous/entertaining parody pokes fun at McCain, Obama, Palin, and Clinton in an entertaining, but non-offensive matter. It actually reminds me of the "this land" parody with Bush and Kerry. This wins the award for the best "unbiased" parody video.
1. Tina Fey as Sarah Palin - This was the most popular election parody of this campaign and rightfully so. Who knew Tina Fey could look, sound, and act EXACTLY like Sarah Palin. This was the best political spoof since Darrell Hammond took on the role of Bill Clinton. This clip happens to be my favorite when Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton (played by Amy Poehler) address the nation.
5. John.He.Is - This is the only non-humor based video that made the list. This parody has a strong, and disturbing, message on John McCain's viewpoint of the war.
4. John McCain Calls His Wife a C* nt - May not really qualify as a parody, but it still makes the list. This video pokes fun of an alleged rumor that John McCain calls his wife the c-bomb in a fit of rage. Very funny stuff.
3. Sarah Benincasa's Impression of Sarah Palin - She's no Tina Fey, but she's pretty damn close. This "video diary of Sarah Palin" pokes fun of the easy target that is Sarah Palin. Sarah Benincasa can go ramble on a little too much, but some of the jokes are flat out hilarious.
2. The 2008 Election Parody - This parody wasn't one of the more publicized parody videos, but is still great nonetheless. This humorous/entertaining parody pokes fun at McCain, Obama, Palin, and Clinton in an entertaining, but non-offensive matter. It actually reminds me of the "this land" parody with Bush and Kerry. This wins the award for the best "unbiased" parody video.
1. Tina Fey as Sarah Palin - This was the most popular election parody of this campaign and rightfully so. Who knew Tina Fey could look, sound, and act EXACTLY like Sarah Palin. This was the best political spoof since Darrell Hammond took on the role of Bill Clinton. This clip happens to be my favorite when Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton (played by Amy Poehler) address the nation.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
The 10 Best Unknown Websites
Sure we're all familiar with Wikipedia, Digg, and Bored.com. These popular websites serve as a diversion from everyday boredom by providing entertaining/interesting content. However, are the best websites the ones that are the most popular? After some extensive research, ten lesser known websites were found that rival (and even beat) some of the most popular sites on the web. Here is a list of the ten best unknown (based on Alexa rank) websites.
10. Inked Mag - This website isn't for everyone (which is why it is ranked #10), but if you are a tattoo fan, InkedMag.com is paradise. You can literally sort through thousands of the most kick ass tattoo pictures, join contests, read tattoo-related news, among other things.
9. JuicyCampus - Targeted towards college students, JuicyCampus allows students to gossip about other people or their campus while remaining anonymous. This is HIGHLY addictive if you still go to college and even if you are a recent graduate. One of the more unique unknowns that currently exist.
8. Newsvine - Newsvine is a great website to not only find the top news stories, but to also write about them. This website allows users to seed articles from various sources on the web and also create their own article. You can even earn a nice chunk of money if you have a popular column.
7. Metacritic - Once I discovered this website, I never went back to RottenTomatoes.com ever again. Metacritic has a similar concept as RottenTomatoes.com. They compile a bunch of reviews from various websites and come up with an overall average score. However, they not only do this for movies (new and old), but they have thousands of music albums, games, and TV shows. I like their scoring system a lot better than RottenTomatoes.com as well.
6. Candystand - This qualifies as the most popular of the "unknown websites". Candystand has hundreds of free games ranging from sports, puzzles, arcade, and more. Some might be turned off by the "in your face" candy sponsorships that take place, but it is easy to get over that minor turn off once you realize how great most of these games are.
5. Plime - Plime can be viewed as the Digg of offbeat news. Users are allowed to submit an "offbeat" story to a variety of categories and have other users vote them up or down. Your Plime score continues to rise as you submit more content. The benefit of this, is that the higher your Plime score is, the more likely you will end up on the homepage of Plime. I particularly like this website because of the lack of "shouting" that takes place (unlike Digg) and because of how interesting the stories are.
4. AnswersTV - Ever since the rise of YouTube, videos have been increasing in popularity on the Internet. AnswersTV has a wide selection of informational videos ranging from health, food, magic (you can actually learn magic trick secrets), and much more. These videos are updated frequently so you can always learn something new. I dare you to go on this website stay there any shorter than an hour.
3. SpliceToday - SpliceToday.com is a news websites that has articles on music, politics, pop culture, etc. Reading a SpliceToday.com article is the equivalent of reading a cross between a current news event and a short story. You really won't find journalism like this anywhere else. The writing is intellectual, humerous, thought provoking, and very entertaining.
2. QualityHealth - People might view QualityHealth as "WebMD" knock off, but in fact it offers a lot more entertainment value than it's rival website. QualityHealth allows you to find information on every type of disease imaginable, offers discounts on useful products, has a symptom checker (much like WebMD), and has one of the most interesting article selection on the web. Only on QualityHealth (at least to my knowledge) can you go from reading about breast cancer to finding an article entitled "10 Fattest States in America".
1. Finding Dulcinea – Finding Dulcinea encompasses all the positive characteristics of the best types of websites. It is entertaining, human-powered, informative, and current. Finding Dulcinea is the only website, to my knowledge, that provides extensive information on a variety of topics (much like Wikipedia) while offering top news stories. Best of all, this information is gathered by actual humans, not a robot. I can literally stay on this website for hours on end and find hundreds of entertaining pages.
10. Inked Mag - This website isn't for everyone (which is why it is ranked #10), but if you are a tattoo fan, InkedMag.com is paradise. You can literally sort through thousands of the most kick ass tattoo pictures, join contests, read tattoo-related news, among other things.
9. JuicyCampus - Targeted towards college students, JuicyCampus allows students to gossip about other people or their campus while remaining anonymous. This is HIGHLY addictive if you still go to college and even if you are a recent graduate. One of the more unique unknowns that currently exist.
8. Newsvine - Newsvine is a great website to not only find the top news stories, but to also write about them. This website allows users to seed articles from various sources on the web and also create their own article. You can even earn a nice chunk of money if you have a popular column.
7. Metacritic - Once I discovered this website, I never went back to RottenTomatoes.com ever again. Metacritic has a similar concept as RottenTomatoes.com. They compile a bunch of reviews from various websites and come up with an overall average score. However, they not only do this for movies (new and old), but they have thousands of music albums, games, and TV shows. I like their scoring system a lot better than RottenTomatoes.com as well.
6. Candystand - This qualifies as the most popular of the "unknown websites". Candystand has hundreds of free games ranging from sports, puzzles, arcade, and more. Some might be turned off by the "in your face" candy sponsorships that take place, but it is easy to get over that minor turn off once you realize how great most of these games are.
5. Plime - Plime can be viewed as the Digg of offbeat news. Users are allowed to submit an "offbeat" story to a variety of categories and have other users vote them up or down. Your Plime score continues to rise as you submit more content. The benefit of this, is that the higher your Plime score is, the more likely you will end up on the homepage of Plime. I particularly like this website because of the lack of "shouting" that takes place (unlike Digg) and because of how interesting the stories are.
4. AnswersTV - Ever since the rise of YouTube, videos have been increasing in popularity on the Internet. AnswersTV has a wide selection of informational videos ranging from health, food, magic (you can actually learn magic trick secrets), and much more. These videos are updated frequently so you can always learn something new. I dare you to go on this website stay there any shorter than an hour.
3. SpliceToday - SpliceToday.com is a news websites that has articles on music, politics, pop culture, etc. Reading a SpliceToday.com article is the equivalent of reading a cross between a current news event and a short story. You really won't find journalism like this anywhere else. The writing is intellectual, humerous, thought provoking, and very entertaining.
2. QualityHealth - People might view QualityHealth as "WebMD" knock off, but in fact it offers a lot more entertainment value than it's rival website. QualityHealth allows you to find information on every type of disease imaginable, offers discounts on useful products, has a symptom checker (much like WebMD), and has one of the most interesting article selection on the web. Only on QualityHealth (at least to my knowledge) can you go from reading about breast cancer to finding an article entitled "10 Fattest States in America".
1. Finding Dulcinea – Finding Dulcinea encompasses all the positive characteristics of the best types of websites. It is entertaining, human-powered, informative, and current. Finding Dulcinea is the only website, to my knowledge, that provides extensive information on a variety of topics (much like Wikipedia) while offering top news stories. Best of all, this information is gathered by actual humans, not a robot. I can literally stay on this website for hours on end and find hundreds of entertaining pages.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
The 39 Best Sandwiches in America
The invention of the sandwich might be the greatest creation in food history. Think about it's brilliance. Take two pieces of bread and shove whatever the hell you want in between. There are many great sandwiches and sandwich places out there, but what are the best? Here is a list of the 39 best sandwiches in the United States.
Jimmy’s Favorite
Jimmy and Drew’s 28th Street Deli, Boulder, Colorado
Never mind that Jimmy and Drew left Chicago to sell meat in a vegan stronghold: They survive because they make everything in-house. They thrive because Jimmy’s namesake Reuben swaps pedestrian rye (meh, it’s just a meat vessel) for schmaltz-fried latkes the size of your hubcaps. (2855 Twenty-eighth Street; 
303...
)
Porchetta
Salumi, Seattle
The daily fresh-pulled mozzarella runs out before the line of customers at Salumi, started by Armandino Batali (Mario’s dad). Don’t let the curing bats of fennel-studded finocchiona dangling from meat hooks distract: You want the porchetta -- braised-until-melting pork shoulder with peppers, carrots, and onions on a stout roll to soak up the profligate juices. (309 Third Avenue South; 206-621-8772)
Cuban Meat Sandwich
Paseo, Seattle
No place in Seattle could care less whether you come in than Paseo. The shoe-box shack has no sign, takes no credit. Has so few seats that devotees eat outside on the trunks of their cars. What keeps them returning? The milagro that is the Cuban meat sandwich: marinated, slow-cooked pork ganged into a baguette slathered with garlicky mayonnaise, then mounded again with cilantro, jalapeños, and fat O’s of caramelized onions. Seattle’s a long way from Cuba, but this sandwich erases every mile. (4225 Fremont Avenue North; 206-545-7440)
Bánh Mì
Saigon Sandwich Shop, San Francisco
A culinary legacy of imperialism: French baguette and Vietnamese barbecued pork, sprinkled with shredded carrots, onions, jalapeños, and cilantro. (560 Larkin Street; 415-474-5698)
Reggie Deluxe
Pine State Biscuits, Portland, Oregon
A hangover cure found only at Portland’s Farmers Market (for now): fried chicken, bacon, cheddar, gravy, and an over-easy egg on a cream-top buttermilk biscuit still hot from the outdoor oven. (South Park Blocks, SW Harrison and Montgomery; Saturdays)
Michael Schmelling
Trailer Park Monte Cristo
Trailer Park Monte Cristo
Beachland Ballroom, Cleveland
Bobbing in a sea of Blue Ribbon, battered by gale-force amps, you need something solid to hold on to -- and hold down. So: Dip a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich in pancake batter, dunk it in a deep fryer, and dust it with powdered sugar. Voilà: Bar eats supreme. The crisp, cakey crust conceals a molten heart as sweet as Cleveland’s own. (15711 Waterloo Road; 216-383-1124)
Monte Cristo
Canter’s Deli, Los Angeles
Popularized in the ‘60s at the restaurant inside Disneyland’s Pirates of the Caribbean ride, the Monte Cristo is bread, turkey, ham, and Swiss dipped in batter and grilled like French toast. The Canter’s version is a sweet, meaty sponge sprinkled with powdered sugar and served with strawberry jam. (419 North Fairfax Avenue; 323-651-2030)
Club Sandwich
Restaurant Guy Savoy, Las Vegas
Two tiny triangles of toasted country bread and two disks of creamy foie gras transformed by Gallic culinary voodoo into a bite-sized treatise on opposites -- simple versus complex, earthy versus rarefied -- all of it gone too soon, in the melancholy French manner. (3570 Las Vegas Boulevard South; 702-731-7731)
The Tyler
Cheese ‘N Stuff, Phoenix
It began in the days before the belly and the beer that made it, when I was a high school wrestler. My prize for making weight was two hours to ingest as much as I could before getting my ass kicked. I found Cheese ‘n Stuff, which stood out not just because it was old and weathered in new, prefab Phoenix but because it had all these weird foods -- pickled things, things in aluminum tubes, headcheese. A father and son -- Stan Zawatski, middle-aged, and Emil, his father -- were behind the counter. This was my creation: a hoagie roll, split wide and topped with Boar’s Head turkey, Muenster, and lettuce, dressed with ribbons of tomato and hot peppers, deli mustard for zing, avocado for lubrication. I ate it at the gym before my match. Then again before my next. I went the week after that, twice. Then I quit wrestling, and on good weeks had it every other day. I ate it before the first concert I drove to with friends, and on graduation day. After a few months, I didn’t have to order anymore. Just enter and smile, a nod between priest and supplicant. Or call first, get Stan’s daughter on the phone -- ”Tell your dad Tyler’s coming in, okay?” (5042 North Central Avenue; 602-266-3636) --Tyler Cabot
Cochon de Lait Po’Boy
Walker’s Bar-B-Que, New Orleans
For years, this sandwich -- twelve-hour-hickory-roasted suckling pig, topped with creamy Cajun mustard slaw -- was available only at Jazz Fest. Now there’s a shop, where the cult of the cochon can worship year-round. But you can still get it at Jazz Fest. (10828 Hayne Boulevard; 504...)
Michael Schmelling
Torta de Milanesa
Torta de Milanesa
Las Nueva, Los Angeles
A neon crown hangs in the doorway of the East L. A. institution that serves the king of the spicy torta, or Mexican sandwich: breaded carne asada, cheese, avocado, and jalapeños on a toasted roll glistening with grease. Dip it in one of the homemade salsas. (3701 East First Street; 323-264-0678)
Italian Beef
Al’s #1 Italian Beef, Chicago
The stockyard special: thinly sliced beef on bread from the 122-year-old Gonella bakery, enhanced by giardiniera, a fermented vegetable relish made with hot peppers and celery. You could buy the ingredients and study the method, but it ain’t gonna taste like Al’s. (1079 West Taylor Street; 312-226-4017)
Jibarito
Borinquen, Chicago
At first it looks like any sandwich: bread, mayo, meat, iceberg lettuce, tomato. But the “bread” is actually twice-fried green plantains (sliced and pressed into rectangles and brushed with garlic and oil), and the meat is traditional Latino (slow-cooked pork; chopped skin-on fried chicken). An American sandwich with Puerto Rican roots. (1720 California Avenue; 773...)
McRib
McDonald’s, Multiple Locations
The pickles slay me. The other components of the McRib -- sauce, meat, onions, bun -- are straight outta barbecue antiquity. But the pickles are an unexpected wacko touch. Is that how they do it in . . . what, Kansas City? Because I grew up an active citizen of fast-food nation, this is what my palate has been calibrated to want: the overdetermined tang of the sauce, meat that tastes slightly of the mixing vat, the grace note of those pickles. I look forward to its occasional rerelease, because however artificial, it tastes like the real thing to me. --Scott Dickensheets
Grilled Cheese
Café Muse, Royal Oak, Michigan
Grilled cheese: Wonder bread, Velveeta, and a clothes iron. Or: Havarti, for creaminess. Mozzarella for gooeyness. Fontina for bite. Honey to linger on the tongue, paired with the sharp anise nip of fresh basil and the sweet tang of grilled tomato. (317 South Washington Avenue; 248...)
Lisa C’s Boisterous Brisket
Zingerman’s, Ann Arbor, Michigan
Gold Angus-beef brisket, dry-rubbed with sea salt, pungent Tellicherry black pepper, garlic, and marjoram, is left to sit in a mixture of butter-sautéed onions, caramelly demerara sugar, ketchup, molasses, garlic, and cayenne. Later it’s hand-pulled and layered into a bun that’s basically challah baked in hot-dog-roll form. On the side you get molasses-baked beans with applewood-smoked bacon, best added to the sandwich. (422 Detroit Street; 734-663-3354)
Michael Schmelling
Sweet Coppa with Hot Peppers and Rucola
Sweet Coppa with Hot Peppers and Rucola
‘Ino, New York City
‘Ino is short for panino -- in this case, an artful little Italian sandwich pressed flat. The bread comes from a bakery across the street, and the combinations inside come from a wild imagination. Sweet cured ham stands up to the fiery peppers -- pop the sugary roasted garlic cloves on the side to extinguish the flames. (21 Bedford Street; 212-989-5769)
Corned Beef
Slyman’s, Cleveland
Bernie Kosar jerseys outnumber the business suits, but just barely. The corned beef is why you go: a softball-sized lump of lean the color of a Great Lakes sunset, kissed with fat and slow-cooked to succulence, then nestled between clouds of fresh bread. (3106 St. Clair Avenue; 216...)
Polish Boy
Freddie’s Rib House, Cleveland
Soul on white. A pipe’s length of kielbasa is wrapped in a bun and mounded with french fries, then dressed with coleslaw and barbecue sauce. Ignore any toxic runoff: Locals consider cuff stains a red badge of courage. The genteel can request a fork, because, yo, every circus needs a clown. (1431 St. Clair Avenue; 216-575-1750)
Chicken Sandwich
Chick-Fil-A, Multiple Locations
You can get a chicken sandwich anywhere, which may explain your low expectations. Boneless breast. Bun. Blah. But down south, there lives an eye-opener. A come-to-Jesus sandwich. The Chick-fil-A. Seasoned, breaded breast served on a toasted buttered bun with dill-pickle slices. No mayo. No sauce at all. Deceptively simple, yet transcendent. The hook is the breading: spicy, with an intoxicating crunch. The meat is always juicy, never chewy. The bun is like lingerie -- there, but not, providing delicious support without obscuring the main flavor. The first bite changes everything you think you know about chicken. And about the need for condiments. --Allison Glock
Chopped Pork
Allen & Son Barbeque, Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Famous among the vinegar-based smoke pits of North Carolina for its tart, smoky sandwiches. The owner, Keith Allen, still splits his own hickory in the backyard, fueling the fires that cook your meat. (6203 Millhouse Road; 919-942-7576)
Michael Schmelling
Ferdi's Special
Ferdi’s Special
Mother’s Restaurant, New Orleans
At Mother’s, a downtown refuge for the workingman (and tourists), they’ve been serving all kinds of meat since 1938. The Ferdi, a kind of compilation po’boy, has the greatest hits: tender baked ham, roast beef, and “debris,” the gorgeous, grease-darkened bits of meat that fall into the pan during roasting. Shredded cabbage and Creole mustard mix with the juices to create an alchemy from above. (401 Poydras Street; 504-52...)
Cubano
Latin America Cafeteria, Miami
Little Havana’s specialty, an eight-inch roll wet with butter, plus sugar-cured bolo ham, lechon asado (slow-roasted marinated pork), Swiss cheese, and pickle, toasted in a plancha (press). The later the hour, the better it tastes. (9606 SW Sunset Drive, 305-279-4353)
Seafood Salad
La Sandwicherie, Miami Beach
Go with the French bread, not the croissant -- it’s appropriately crusty and soft in the middle. And get it to stay -- the seating is outdoors, and the seafood salad (jumbo lump crab, shrimp) goes well with the salty air. (229 Fourteenth Street; 305-532-8934)
Roast Pork with Provolone
John’s Roast Pork, Philadelphia
Although the area looks like a good place to dump a body, when John’s opened in 1930 the shipyards were bustling, and the place still keeps day-laborer’s hours: 6:45 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. The cheesesteak is the best in town, but your first time, get Philadelphia’s sleeper signature sandwich, the roast pork with shards of provolone. Only the large size comes on a seeded roll from Carangi Bakery, the perfect texture to absorb the juices without falling apart. The meat and cheese meld together while retaining flavor and texture -- molecular gastronomy at its finest. (14 East Snyder Avenue; 215-463-1951) --Francine Maroukian
Chicken Cutlet
Shank’s & Evelyn’s Luncheonette, South Philadelphia
You don’t need a hangover to appreciate the chicken cutlet with broccoli rabe and provolone at Shank’s & Evelyn’s. But with a little planning, you can acquire one and come to know the best morning-after sandwich in the world. And no matter how many times I tell myself that I’m too damn old for this kind of excess, the side of head-clearing long hots -- peppers eaten straight (vodka hangover) or jammed into the sandwich (bourbon) -- remind me that there’s no satisfaction in playing it safe. (932 South Tenth Street; 215-629-1093) --F. M.
Michael Schmelling
Ham and Cheese
Ham and Cheese
Primanti Bros., Pittsburgh
A relic of Pittsburgh’s steel days, this sandwich was made for steelworkers who had to eat fast. Everything that typically comes with a sandwich comes on it: meat cooked hot, bacon, tomato, provolone, pickles, slaw, an egg for fifty cents extra, even fries. Shove it in your lunch box. (46 Eighteenth Street; 412-...)
Pork Roll, Egg, and Cheese
Brennan’s Deli, Rumson, New Jersey
Fancier places around the Garden State call it Taylor ham, but to the hungry, hungover Jersey masses, the salamilike breakfast meat is pork roll. Fry it up in bacon fat and serve it on a kaiser roll with a fried egg and a slice of American cheese, or ask the good men of Brennan’s to do it for you. It’s the only way to start a bad day. (44 West River Road; 732...)
Tuna Niçoise
Bouchon Bakery, New York City
Looks like a regular tuna sandwich, except the bread is crusty and minutes old. The tuna comes with capers instead of celery, aioli on top of mayo, and cornichons instead of a pickle. Plus tarragon and sliced soft-cooked egg. It’s mundane. It’s exhilarating. It’s the best tuna sandwich we’ve ever eaten. (10 Columbus Circle; 212-823-9366)
Pastrami on Rye
Katz’s, New York City
You know Katz’s. You know the scene in When Harry Met Sally. The orgasm. And if you’ve been there, you know she wasn’t faking it -- the fatty, thick-cut pastrami on rye is that good. Better with a smear of mustard. (205 East Houston Street; 212-254-2246)
Three-Terrine Bánh Mì
Momofuku Ssäm, New York City
You’d never stand at a Plexiglas counter and tell the guy to top your crusty bread with chicken liver, ham terrine, and you know what, throw on some scraps of veal face. Just order this sickly delicious bánh mì and, without thinking too much, enjoy the crisp, earthy texture of...that delicious stuff between the bread. (207 Second Avenue; 212-25...)
Michael Schmelling
Fried Cod
Fried Cod
Cove Fish Market, Stonington, Connecticut
When a fish starts its morning in the ocean and ends up in a deep-fryer that afternoon, the result is reliably tasty. The Cove has been proving this for four decades, turning out some of the best no-frills fish sandwiches on the Eastern Seaboard. (20 Old Stonington Road; 860-...)
The Bomb
Sal, Kris, and Charlie Deli, Queens, New York
The Sandwich Kings of Astoria stick to a simple formula: Use great ingredients and a lot of them. Know what you want to order when it’s your turn and you’ll have a great experience -- that’ll be the Bomb, an Italian with nine kinds of meat. (33-12 Twenty-third Avenue; 718...)
Hot Lobster Roll
Abbot’s Lobster in the Rough, Noank, Connecticut
The best way to get to Abbott’s is by boat -- float in, tie up, and order the classic, made with a quarter pound of meat, melted butter, and not a drop of mayo. Get a table out on the dock. (117 Pearl Street; 860-53...)
Maple-Barbecue Pulled Pork
Vermont Country Deli, Brattleboro, Vermont
Bunch of northerners making pulled pork? Damn straight. Two words: Maple. Syrup. (436 Western Avenue; 802-257-9254)
Grilled Lobster and Cheese
Restaurant Bricco, West Hartford, Connecticut
Generous clumps of fresh lobster tossed in a net of stringy, buttery Havarti and gently pressed between grilled white toast. Wash it down with a glass of prosecco. You’ll feel like you’re celebrating. (78 LaSalle Road; 860-233-0220)
Gyro
East Side Pocket, Providence
The sliced lamb gets a quick char while you pick out your toppings -- any or all from a list of ten: hot sauce, hummus, tabouleh, tahini, yogurt-cucumber sauce, various veggies. Thirty seconds and six bucks later, you’re eating the best Syrian street food outside Damascus. (278 Thayer Street; 401-453-1100)
Lamb Sirloin
Matt Murphy’s Brookline, Massachusetts
In a land teeming with trite Irish pubs, Matt Murphy’s stands alone: no Gaelic street signs, no U2 poster, no “Molly Bloom Mozzarella Stix.” But this hits you like a Joycean epiphany: sirloin, cooked until it dissolves on the crusty potato bread, and pickles, daubed with sweet relish and a sauce bearing the faintest rumor of mint. (14 Harvard Street; 617...)
Prosciutto and Asiago
Little Notch Café, Southwest Harbor, Maine
Let the others scarf lobster rolls. Up near Acadia National Park, where the crowds thin out, sharp Asiago and sweet prosciutto offer a different sort of local comfort. Grab one and catch the mail boat out to breathtaking Cranberry Island, where the crowds disappear into nothing. (340 Main Street; 207-244-3357)
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